Anger Continued

ANGER CONTINUED

Controlling Anger

Training is the key

Controlling anger is really about reducing stress. Anger is generated by those inner voices we call "pathological critics". These voices say negative things and when we believe them we project them onto others. In actuality anger is a two-step process. First there is the stress, which lies there like dry leaves. Then come all the negative "shoulds" and "oughts" spoken by our inner voice, which serve as a psychological flint that ignites the leaves and boom you have an angry outburst.
To control anger, we train people in the use of the "Instant Calming Sequence." It has to do with breath control, bodily posture, mind control, visualization and meditation. These steps are extremely effective and can be learned in one session. Of course, controlling one's own anger can be accomplished much more readily than defusing someone else's anger! But, there are powerful ways of coping with angry and potentially harmful people. Training is the key!

Training

Tailoring it to fit the Organization

Organizations will often target employees for conflict resolution training. We recommend that senior-level managers participate as well. When management doesn't take part, employees feel that the training is irrelevant, and they will refuse to take it seriously. As a result they will not use what they have learned in class on the job. It is important that a company brings in outsiders to do the training, even though there are people in house who are familiar with conflict resolution techniques.
We are dealing with a very complex mechanism--mainly the human being--who is fragile and brittle and suspicious, and who brings problems to work over which the employer has no control.
Also, outsiders are in a better position to survey all parties--the HR manager, workers, supervisors and top-level staff. We may even tap into the company grapevine to find out the nature of the tension in the office. How is the morale and is anyone bullying or harassing a fellow worker? What is the level of resentment or anger? What is the cause? Is it frustration or resentment or fear? Surveying everyone who may be affected elicits different perspectives on issues, while allowing the trainers to zero in on the most likely cause of the conflicts.

Angry

When considering bringing in trainers, it is important to bear the following in mind:

1. Training and seminars should be tailored to the organization's needs and culture. Avoid motivational speakers and trainers who sometimes used canned material that is often unsuitable.
2. Trainingshould be tied in with the organization's strategic goals. Good trainers will want to know what results are expected, such as reduced tension between male and female employees or between different ethnic groups in order to support a diversity plan. A good trainer will also want to uncover the obstacles to achieving those results such as fear and mistrust.
3. Trainers work with your Employee Assistance Program's staff. EAPs specialize in one-on-one counseling to maintain employee's confidentiality. However, when an employee comes to work brandishing a gun, the entire office is affected. For this reason the trainer needs to become aware of any red flag that the EAP is aware of but hesitates to reveal because of confidentiality.
4. I strongly recommend that an HR representative and manager always appear on the scene whenever a crisis occurs. This serves to calm the employees' fears and anxieties. In addition, their presence works in favor of the company should there ever be litigation.